Monday, May 4, 2009

Brown to Introduce Moral GPS System

Following on the enormous triumph of his YouTube appearance last week, Gordon Brown is embracing modern technology yet again – this time he’ll replace his much criticised Moral Compass with a nationwide, hi-tech, Moral GPS System.


According to Prime Minister Brown, ‘My appearance on YouTube last week is gaining a LOT of momentum. More people are watching it now than watched that Daniel Hannan fellow talking to himself in Brussels. And I’ve already shown that all I have to do is pick my nose and millions of people follow me on the Internet. This proves without a doubt that I understand modern media and I’m fully in control of my online Web 2.0 strategy. Now I’ve decided to bequeath my technological legacy to the British people - my Moral GPS System’.

The Moral GPS System is believed to be a specially developed version of a similar system available in the USA – as reported on the enormously influential American DOTPENN website last year (see http://www.dotpenn.com/index.php/U.S/Country-To-Install-New-Moral-GPS-System.html).

The British system will, however, sport an upgraded user-interface that will monitor every moral scenario the owner experiences and present them with a simple dialog box with buttons to select between the two moral options (1) HELP THEM or (2) FUCK THEM.


Image courtesy of DOTPENN.COM (a tres cool website)

With these options a user can navigate his or her way through any moral dilemma – such as ‘Should we let these Gurkha bastards live in our country?’ Or even ‘Should crooks like Baroness Uddin be jailed for ripping off the British taxpayer?

When shown an early prototype of the Moral GPS Receiver former Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott remarked, ‘That’s very nice. I’ve got a bus.

Hazel Blears, the embattled Communists Secretary commented, ‘Modern technology is all well and good. I mean, if I CouldTube I WouldTube. But if Hugh Gaitskell was alive today he’d be turning in his grave.’

Even though he commented earlier, John Prescott faxed us to let us know he was not available for commerce.

You couldn’t make it up.

24 comments:

  1. murphyd@montana.comMay 4, 2009 at 9:24 PM

    Holy shit. You just about wrapped it up Dude.

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