Number 10 Downing Street today confirmed that the Prime Minister, Gordon Brown has not vanished at all. Instead he has been secretly working on a new book series to be published after the European Elections. WHERE’S GORDO will mimic the hugely successful WHERE’S WALLY or as it’s known in the USA, WHERE’S WALDO series of books. Each book contains a number of very highly detailed drawings showing thousands of people in a particular scenario – and only one of them is Gordo. The reader has to scour the picture in minute detail to find the solitary image of Gordo.
The first in the series Gordo Saves The Universe will feature Gordo At The Beach where the reader tries to pick out Gordo from over 1,500 images. The most difficult puzzle in the book is rumoured to be Gordo At The Job Centre where the poor reader is confronted with the daunting task of picking Gordo out of the 3 million unemployed.
Brown is believed to have been offered the contract because of his real-life reputation for being difficult to find when there’s work to do for which he earned the nickname ‘Macavity’.
Chancer Alistair Darling will also be appearing in print where he will play Bill the Badger in the reintroduction of Rupert the Bear cartoon series. Rupert the Bear was withdrawn from circulation many years ago after the name Rupert mysteriously became the second most unpopular name after Hitler.
Chancer Darling as Bill The Badger
Not to be outdone, Ed Balls has approached the Mirror Group with a proposal to reintroduce the traditional Spot The Balls competition. Popular in the 1980s Spot The Balls presents the reader with a scene from a football match where a number of players are caught in action. The reader has to determine which is the prick.
Ed Balls in Spot The Prick
According to Jean Poole of the Royal-Payne Talent Agency, ‘The rush by soon-to-be-former-Labour-MPs to turn themselves into cartoon characters is not unexpected. They can’t find a job in the real world so this is about the best they can do. Most Labour MPs will find this is the only way to make a living in the future. Except, of course, for John Prescott who's just totally fucking useless. If Walt Disney was alive today he’d be turning in his grave’.
Wylie T. Coyote was not available for comment as he is on the campaign trail in Salford running against Hazel Blears. However, he issued a statement saying, 'Often endogenous growth theory assumes constant marginal product of capital at the aggregate level, or at least that the limit of the marginal product of capital does not tend towards zero. This does not imply that larger firms will be more productive than small ones, because at the firm level the marginal product of capital is still diminishing. So Ed Balls must be the prick, eh?'
Hazel Blears is casting for a 2-episode part in The Simpsons while John Prescott stated, 'I've got a bus'.
You couldn't make it up.