Former Home Secretary and architect of the infamous Anti-Social Behaviour Order or ASBO , David Blunkett, was today handed his very own ASBO for allegedly claiming benefits for 40 years while pretending to be blind. Apparently, Blunkett gave himself away when he let slip he'd seen Gordon Brown’s disastrous performance on YouTube.
Blunkett was quoted in a number of papers and blogs when he criticised Prime Minister Gordon Brown’s much ridiculed performance on YouTube. But how could he have seen it if he is blind?
While handing down Mr Blunkett’s ASBO, Magistrate Orson Carte stated, ‘This is one of the worst cases of benefit fraud I’ve ever seen. This man convinced the authorities he was blind so he could collect benefits for the best part of 40 years. Now he’s been caught red-handed thanks to YouTube. Initially he tried to claim he viewed the video in Braille but YouTube don't offer that feature.’
While being interviewed by police, Blunkett allegedly shouted, ‘Blind? No, I meant to say I was deaf. What? No. It’s Gordon Brown who’s the blind one. He’s our leader. If I was blind then it’d be a case of the blind leading the blind and we can’t have that, no. What did you say? Sorry. I’m deaf you know. Has anyone seen my dog? She’s incontinent.’
Magistrate Orson Carte continued, ‘It’s sad to see when people pretend they are handicapped for political and financial advantage. If Ray Charles was alive today he’d be turning in his grave’.
Blunkett, who was due to repeat his role as Blind Pew in the Lloyd Weber production of Kidnapped at the Glasgow Citizens Theatre, will now spend the next 30 days at home where he will have plenty of time to sell his collection of white sticks on e-Bay.
Rob Worn Dong was unavailble for comment.
You couldn't make this up.